Prepared for everything, and still not at ease.
I work with adults whose anxiety looks like planning ahead, double-checking, and being the one who’s always ready, and who’d like to feel okay without needing a backup plan for it.
A short video call to see if we’re a good fit. Nothing to prepare, though I know that’s a hard instruction.
(I’m guessing you’ve already rehearsed this call. That’s fine.)
What it can feel like
Anxiety doesn’t always look like panic. Often it looks more like this:
In the body
- Tight shoulders and a clenched jaw that only get noticed at the end of the day
- Wired but tired, too keyed up to sleep and too drained to enjoy being awake
- A stomach that reacts to an email before the brain has finished reading it
In the mind
- Rehearsing a conversation three times before having it, then replaying it afterward to find what went wrong
- Preparing for the worst version of everything so that nothing can catch anyone off guard
- Feeling uneasy when a day goes quietly, as though calm must mean something was missed
Being high-functioning isn’t the same as feeling okay.
The preparing works, which is why it never stops
A what-if shows up, and preparing for it feels like the responsible thing to do. So the planning, the checking, and the extra rehearsal happen, and most of the time things go well.
Then comes the relief, and the effort gets the credit. The mind quietly learns that worry is what keeps things safe, so the next what-if arrives with the same urgency, and worry can start to feel like a safety measure that’s hard to put down.
When someone steps back, it often turns out that the effort was never only about managing the anxiety. It was also about managing around it.
(Nothing in this loop is a flaw. Each step is trying to help.)
- 1A what-if shows up.
- 2Prepare, plan, check.
- 3Relief, and it goes well.
- 4The effort gets the credit.
- It works, so it stays, and the loop starts again at 1.
- Or a way out: what matters to you.
What many people hope for
Most people aren’t looking to care less or be less capable. The hope is more often a quieter alarm, with the same steady competence behind it.
- ↗Walking into a room without rehearsing it first
- ↗A quiet day that doesn’t have to mean something is about to go wrong
- ↗A small piece of criticism that gets to stay small
- ↗Rest that doesn’t need a reason, or a plan
- ↗Staying the capable one without being on guard all the time
None of that asks for the preparing to disappear. It asks for it to become a choice.
How I work
Anxiety is rarely something to be argued out of, because the what-ifs tend to be clever and the person usually knows the odds already. So in session I draw on ACT and parts work from a warm, person-centered starting point, with guided experiences more than lectures.
ACT has an image I use a lot: a bus. You’re the driver, and the passengers are the parts of you, like the one that scans for what could go wrong and the one that just wants everything to be fine. They’re loud, and they’ve been trying to keep things safe. Therapy isn’t about throwing anyone off the bus. Sometimes you pull over and listen to a passenger, and mostly it’s getting your hands back on the wheel, pointed at what matters to you.
Some people want to look at where this started, and others would rather work with what’s happening now. We can go in either direction, and we won’t dig anywhere it isn’t useful. And there’s no need to be good at this.
What working together looks like
Who I work with
You’re invited
No grades, no proof required.
- Who
- Adults who plan ahead, double-check, and stay ready for whatever comes, whether that’s at work, at home, or in a social setting where the rehearsing never quite stops
- Come as you are
- Anxious and still functioning is fine, and it’s often exactly how this goes unnoticed
- Bring
- Nothing. Not a clean story, and not proof it’s bad enough
- Where
- For adults who live in California
- When
- First sessions are often available within about a week
- Cost
- $200 per session, private pay, superbills available
(Yes, the price is right there. Mysteries are tiring.)
Common questions
Is this anxiety, or am I just busy?
One useful question is whether the tension stays when the schedule clears. If worry, tightness, or guilt about resting follows someone into the quiet moments, it may be more than busyness. Being sure isn’t a requirement for starting, and the free call can help sort it out.
I’ve tried meditation apps and self-help. Why would this be different?
A lot of people find that a daily practice turns into one more thing to get right. Therapy isn’t a daily assignment, and nothing here is graded. Many people also find that the guided experiences in session feel different from doing a practice alone.
Do I have to talk about my childhood?
Only if it’s useful. Some people want to look at where this started, and others would rather work with what’s happening now. We can go either way, and we can change direction.
Is this a quick fix?
Usually not. Anxiety that has been useful for years doesn’t tend to loosen overnight, and I’d rather be honest about that. Many people notice small shifts along the way, and we check in on what’s working as we go.
Can you prescribe medication?
No. As a licensed clinical social worker, I don’t prescribe. Some people work with a doctor or psychiatrist alongside therapy, and that’s a decision for you and that provider.
Start with a free 15-minute call
Bring a list of questions, a plan, or nothing at all. Whichever version shows up is the right one.
(Fifteen minutes. I’ll watch the clock so you don’t have to.)