Good at carrying it, and tired of carrying it.
I’m Luke, and I work with adults who know what everyone else needs before it’s said, hold more together than anyone realizes, and can’t quite say why they’re so tired.
A short video call to see if we’re a good fit. Nothing to prepare.
(If you’re reading this between taking care of everyone, I’ll keep it short.)
Does any of this sound familiar?
The words that bring people in are usually simpler than a diagnosis:
- “I’m fine, I’m just stressed all the time.”
- “I just want to feel better.”
- “I’m overwhelmed, and I keep going anyway.”
- “I always know what everyone else needs, and I’m not sure what I need.”
- “A small mistake at work can feel like it says something about me.”
- “I’m exhausted and spaced out after work, and I can’t say why.”
If a few of those landed, keep reading.
Tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix
For a lot of the people I work with, the exhaustion isn’t only about how much they do. It’s the second job running underneath, the one where every room gets read, every mood gets managed, and every small task quietly carries a verdict about their worth.
That second job works, which is exactly why it keeps going. Things run smoothly, people are grateful, and the weight slides a little further out of sight, until it just feels like how life is.
None of this means the workload isn’t real. Sometimes the load itself needs to change, and therapy can help with how it’s carried either way.
(Circling is usually a sign of caring, not of failing.)
- 1A room gets read.
- 2A mood gets managed.
- 3Things run smoothly, and people are grateful.
- 4The weight slides a little further out of sight.
- It works, so it keeps going, and the loop starts again at 1.
- Or a way out: what matters to you.
Where does it show up for you?
Plenty of people recognize themselves in more than one, and that’s fine.
High-functioning anxiety
I’m fine, I’m just stressed all the time.
The kind of anxiety that gets praised as responsibility and rarely lets up, even when things are going well.
Read about anxietyPerfectionism and burnout
I’ll rest when it’s done, but it’s never done.
A standard that moves every time it’s met, and a tiredness that rest doesn’t seem to touch.
Read about perfectionismPeople-pleasing
I always know what everyone else needs.
Reading the room, smoothing things over, and losing track of what they actually want.
Read about people-pleasing
Hi, I’m Luke. I’m a licensed clinical social worker, and I work online with adults across California.
One image I use a lot is a bus. You’re the driver, and the worries, the fears, and the voices that say “check it again” ride along in the back. They’re loud, and they’ve usually been trying to help. Therapy with me isn’t about throwing anyone off the bus. It’s about getting back to choosing the route.
A few things worth knowing before we ever talk. There’s no grade on how well anyone explains things, and “here’s what’s going on and I don’t even know how to make sense of it” is a perfectly good way to start. Nobody has to take care of me during a session, either. And I’ll say what I’m noticing along the way, because an hour of polite agreement isn’t much use to anyone.
Luke
Who I work with
You’re invited
No grades, no proof required.
- Who
- Managers and business owners, parents and partners running the household, people in creative and administrative work, and anyone else who tends to know what a room needs before it’s said
- Come as you are
- Still functioning is fine, and it’s often exactly how this stays hidden
- Bring
- Nothing. Not a clean story, and not proof it’s bad enough
- Where
- For adults who live in California
- When
- First sessions are often available within about a week
- Cost
- $200 per session, private pay, superbills available
(Yes, the price is right there. Mysteries are tiring.)
Common questions
I’m not sure I’d call it anxiety. Is this still for me?
Probably. A lot of people start with something simpler, like stressed, overwhelmed, tired, or just wanting to feel better. A label can come later if it’s useful at all, and the free call is a good place to talk through what’s going on.
Will this take away my drive?
Taking away someone’s drive isn’t the goal. Many people find that what changes is the fear underneath it, so the same ambition can feel lighter to carry. Sometimes a worry turns out to have been doing a job, and we look at that before changing anything.
What happens on the free 15-minute call?
It’s a short video call to tell me what’s bringing you in, ask me anything, and see how it feels to talk with me. If I think someone else would be a better fit, I’ll say so. There’s nothing to prepare.
Do I have to be good at this?
No. There’s no grade on how well anyone explains things, and it’s fine to say you’re not sure what’s going on. Nobody needs to take care of me during a session, either.
Do you take insurance?
I’m private pay and don’t bill insurance directly. If your plan covers out-of-network care, I can give you a superbill to submit, and what you get back depends on your plan. A superbill includes a diagnosis, so it’s worth asking your plan how they handle that.
Start with a free 15-minute call
Bring the version of yourself that still looks fine. There’s no prepared speech to give and no right words to find first.
(Fifteen minutes. I’ll watch the clock so you don’t have to.)